The Season Is Upon Us...

Duttonember has arrrived just in time for the holidays!! Ahh yes, that joyous time of year when we celebrate the birth of well...ME. Also, once again I remain blogless in the month of November. But enough of my witty banter. It's on to what everyone really wants...pics.

Trick or Treating in Broad Daylight

Let's go back in time just a couple of months to that lovely time called Halloween with our first pics. Is it me or was it weird having all of the daylight for Trick or Treating due to the time change being pushed back??

There was plenty of light for Sam in the front yard as he did some reps to get his candy-reception motion down to an art.
Sam went as a handy man this year...a handy man....NOT Handy Manny. The hat was a gift from our neighbor Gary who use to run a construction business. It had to be resized but worked out well. Gary certainly approved as we made his house our first stop.

Putting the "Wind" in the Windy City

In early November, I was chosen (forced volunteerism for all of my Sandburg co-horts) to accompany a charter bus load of 7th grade students to Chicago on a field trip. Kentucky's Night at the Chicago Museum of Science and Insdustry was the event and what a time it was. Here are a few pics...did I mention that we spent the night in the museum or that we slept on the floor of an exhibit??? My bionic spine is still trying to recover.

What? Oh wait, don't tell me. There is like this T rex right behind me. I get that a lot. I am like candy to them.

That lovely lady in the background is Sue. No, she is not my other woman, but she is the world's most complete T rex skeleton. Here's a closer look at this beauty. Come on, give me pouty...what a profile!

Rockin' & Boppin' w/ The Doodlebops!!

In November, we also had the great pleasure of taking the little dude for his first "concert" with the Doodlebops...sorry Aerosmith is not on tour and the version of Van Halen on the road right now did not come close enough. So instead, we settled for Canada's latest and possibly greatest music sensation (sorry Rush, Alanis, Brian Adams, & Celine but you can't top Disney Channel's appeal). Here we see the obligatory pic with mom prior to the show.

Everything came as a total surprise to Sam. You should have seen the expression on his face when they hit the stage...oh wait, you can see his expression right here! He is saying "WOW, the DOODLEBOPS!" and pointing to the stage then proceeds to try to climb over the seats to get to the stage!

He and his mother were getting down all night as they grooved to the tunes.

Thank you Doodlebops and good night!

Random Acts of "Sam"ness

Hanging in the den at Rancho Duttonero.

Grandma Karen calls me "Shane Jr."...then daddy always says "Poor kid." Wonder why?
Playing with Lauren at the Dutton Family Pre-holiday Party!

Chillin' with the dudes at the party while Dad tries to save Steve's retinas or maybe be called on by the numerous teachers at the party...who knows? That's it for the pics now. Remember, whether you celebrate Christmas, Giftmas, Festivus, or all 3, we wish you a safe and joyful Duttonember everybody from Shane, Tif, & Sam.

The Case of the Missing Paragraphs.

The following paragraphs were mysteriously left out of my last blog...

"You have an area of hyperkeratinosis. It is not cancerous, so I don't think you have anything to worry about at this point."

So my immediate follow-up was to ask for removal of the "hyper" area. That's when the dermatologist went on to explain to me that it was an area of irritated scar tissue. To remove it would be replacing scar tissue with.....wait for it....scar tissue. Being a somewhat rational human being, I realized that was an exercise in futility so we decided to get another injection, avoid scratching the spot, and see if we could get it to heal. So far so good. Crisis averted.

You will be relieved to know that to this point, things are going well. The area is healing, but man is it itchy. But I haven't scratched. Not one time! ;-)

My apologies to my faithful readers (all 3 or 4 of you) for leaving out the paragraphs. Call the exerpt a victim of circumstance. A mistake caused by late night blogging, typing them in Word first and then transferring them, or a lack of proofreading (my sincere apologies to my Language Arts-oriented readers on that one.) Either way I didn't mean to leave you in suspense....or did I?!

Biopsy Blues.

"I want to do a biopsy to see if there are any cancer or pre-cancer cells, Mr. Dutton."

From that point on, the dermatologist could have given me the winning numbers for the lottery (not that I play it) which would be drawn later that day or could have told me my hair was on fire. It wouldn't have mattered because I instantly became fixated on that word. That word that no one wants to ever hear in relation to a part of their body (or anyone's body, I suppose.)

At this point, I suppose I should give you the back story...(no pun intended, you'll see why in a moment.) For about 3 or 4 months, I have had this dime-sized spot/lesion on my back/neck just below my "colar-line" that has been itching me. It started as what I thought was a routine in-grown hair but soon became extremely rough, almost callous. Tiffy gave me most of the updates about it since it was in one of those places where viewing it would have required me to attend yoga classes with Tiffy. The spot itched me to the point of being really annoying. Not to mention the fact that the colars of my shirts seem to frequently rub it the wrong way. In August, I decided that I had enough and scheduled an appointment with a dermatologist.

At first inspection, the dermatologist saw nothing alarming. She thought that it was an area of irritation and recommended a shot of cortisone to alleviate the itching. The good news was that it wasn't anything major (or so it seemed.) The bad news was the shot. Now since the back injury and subsequent surgery and add in the blood disorder, I have had my share of medically-induced puncture wounds. I mean I had like 9 IVs at once during the surgery!! You would think that a single shot would not hurt that bad. But let me tell you, the needle was either the size of a drinking straw or the dermatologist is the worst "shot-giver" in the world. My toenails hurt during this injection. Fortunately, it was over soon and I was ready to reap the benefits. You see the cortisone was intended to reduce the itching which in turn should allow the area to heal since I wouldn't be digging at it with any implement that I had nearby. It worked...for a while.

Then September came. The "benefits" came and went. The itchy spot remained. I was sitting in the lounge at school when someone told a story of a 30-something friend of a friend who had recently been diagnosed with the aggressive/deadly form of skin cancer, melanoma. Being me, I can take a hint, eventually. I called that day and got another appointment with the dermatologist. I went for the visit and thats when she decided to do the biopsy.

You see skin cancer has basically 3 forms. There is basal cell carcinoma which is the "typical" chop-it-off, no-harm-no-foul skin cancer. It doesn't spread and is 100% curable by...well, chopping it off. Next you have squamous cell carcinoma. It is the "older" brother of the basal cell in that it can spread to other parts of your body but is curable if caught in time. Then you have malignant melanoma. This is the bad boy of skin cancer. It spreads and it kills. Typically it arises from the basal or squamous cell forms if they go unchecked long enough. It has a high mortality rate and is certainly not what you are hoping for when you get the biopsy results.

Speaking of which, I went in for the biopsy on Tuesday. The dermatologist told me that it would be about a week before I would get the results (not easy waiting that long for that kind of information...let me tell you.) So the patience game began. But before it even got into full swing, their came a cryptic message from the dermatologist office.

"Have Shane call the office when he gets this message. He can call first thing in the morning if he doesn't get home until after the office is closed."

You can imagine my anxiety when I heard this on the answering machine at 5:30 , THURSDAY afternoon. What happened to the week? It's been 2 days! Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Can I call them now? NO! The office closes at 4:00!

Needless to say, I was the first call they received that Friday morning and it was an excrusiating experience all by itself. First, someone answered but immediately put me on hold....I HATE that. While on hold, they played the most eery piano music I have ever heard. Then the person asked how she could help me. Well, you could give me the results of the biopsy and never expose me to that music again. She did neither as she put me on hold while she paged the dermatologist. More creepy music. More anxiety. She returned to say that the doctor would take my call mometarily....more creepy music, more waiting, anxiety through the roof. Finally the voice of the dermatologist was a welcomed relief to the listening/waiting/worrying as she gave me the results of my biopsy.

Recent Events

Typically, I like to blog one topic at a time. But things have been happening kind of rapid fire lately, so I thought I would pick several topics and fill everyone in on the recent goings-on as we continue to enjoy life, liberty, and the pursuit of Duttoness.

Happy B-day, Grandma Bonnie!

Tif's Grandma Bonnie recently had a birthday. We did a marathon trip to WV to crash the party and Sam really enjoyed getting to catch up on some reading while in the car. I can't tell you how appropriate the title of the book really is (sometimes he just doesn't stop talking!)

Little Tree Hug(ger)

Recently, Sam has really been into climbing things. Couches, shelves, TREES!! Here we see the possible makings of a dare devil as he just loves hanging out (not around) in this tree in our back yard. I can already see that I need to start drawing up plans for a treehouse. But don't think us bad parents. I am holding onto him from behind the tree in both pics because for the most part, Sam has no fear.

A Sucky Labor Day

But by Sucky, I mean Sam's Uncle Sucky (real name Chucky.) For whatever reason, someone up there likes me, Sam refers to Tiffy's brother as Sucky. Hilarious now and everytime I hear it! Uncle Sucky, Auntie "Mena" (Marlena), cousin David, & Cousin "Lana" (Alana) came for a visit during Labor Day Weekend. We hadn't been together in quite some time so it was a nice get together. Sam got to share some time and Cheerios with Lana.

On Saturday, we took everyone to the pool. David really enjoyed the water, especially the slide! Even Lana got in on some fun in the sun.

Afterwards, we all went out to a nice family-style restaurant (note the cup.) I know what you are thinking...but it was where David wanted to go...really!

On Sunday morning, it was Tif's turn for Cheerios.

Afterwards, the kids went for a ride.

Spoonbread Festival

Last weekend, we went to the Annual Spoonbread Festival in Berea, Ky. To the best of our understanding, spoonbread is a local dish that is similar to cornbread but in more of a souffle. We tried it and thought that overall, it was not bad. The festival is held on the campus of Berea College about 20 minutes south of Rancho Duttonero, a lovely little area. The festival had lots of booths for browsing, unique food, and Sam's fav, a parade!

What parade in Ky could possibly be complete without a Queen and a horse...just hopefully not at the same time.

Well, there you have it. Those are the recent events of the Duttons. I'll try to keep you posted.

Two Infinitis & Beyond

Wow, I know what you are thinking. Why did you get rid of the Ascender? Here is the deal. In July, we were sideswiped in the Speedway here in Richmond by a lady eating a hotdog with a hearing aid. Now I know that sounds like the hearing aid was for the hot dog and let me just say that it probably would have done the hot dog more good. During the police interview at the scene, I told the officer that I slammed on the brakes, stopped the vehicle, and simultaneously sounded the horn. She responded by saying, "I didn't hear your horn, dear, I have a hearing aid." Was it a faulty hearing aid? Was it a bad battery? Was it intense focus on a hot dog? Either way, $1600 in damage later we were getting the car repaired.

Now that little story is just to give you an idea of the kind of luck we had been having with the Isuzu Ascender. I added the Isuzu part of the name because it gains relevance at this point. Around the same time as we were the target of the hot dog ladie's Chevy Lumina, we had noticed a "hiccup" in the engine. We were immediately concerned because several times the vehicle came close to stalling and it got worse. Ok, no big deal, right? We have had the vehicle just a little over a year and with 18K....can you say factory warranty? We'll just call the local dealership and get an appointment...or so we thought.

Unfortunately, the Isuzu dealership in Lexington closed down. Bummer. Well the Ascender is technically a GMC Envoy XL, we'll take it to the local GM dealership. No dice! They wouldn't touch it because it is an ISUZU. If they did anything, it would void the factory warranty. Plan C was the ISUZU dealership in Louisville. If you are not familiar with Kentucky geography, Louisville is about 70 miles from Lexington and 90 miles from Richmond. The only other ISUZU dealers "close" to us are in Cincinnati, OH and Knoxville, TN...not really an option. It seemed that Louisville was the best choice or at least the lesser of a bunch of evils. So off to the dealer we go.

The next series of events were not the nail in the Ascender's coffin, but they were the nail before that one. Briefly, the service department was backed up, Tiffy was without a car for about 2 weeks (12 days), a "special" part had to be ordered from FRANCE, a special tool had to be ordered to put on the special part, they couldn't give us a loner, they finally borrowed the special tool from a GMC!!!!!!! dealership, they "fixed" the car.....and finally we were able to drive the 90 miles one way to pick it up...(insert annoyed grunt here!)

Now, you would think that the issue was solved...you'd be mistaken. Let me set the scene...the temperature was 103 degrees F, Sam has a 101 degrees F fever, Tiffany in the Ascender with Sam is exiting I-75 coming home, the car has performed well for two days, then it stalls. It shuts down completely on the off ramp!!! Scared, upset, ANGRY are all words to describe Mrs. Dutton. She managed to get it started again and make it home....with it exhibiting the same symptoms as before for part of the time.

Our options were another two week trip to Louisville for the Ascender while we were down to one car or obtain some peace-of-mind by getting a new vehicle. We opted (after much soul-searching and by soul-searching I mean dealing with the depression over the money we would lose) for the new vehicle. But which new vehicle?

I am notorious for OVERresearching cars before we buy. I like to spend at least 6 months looking at every aspect of a possible auto purchase. We had about a week to do so. We went with what we new after some frantic looking at a short list of vehicles. We have had a great experience with my Gs (first the coupe and now the sedan) and the service can not be beaten. I mean I get a loner for an oil change if I need it. Infiniti in our opinion is just a cut above the rest. Tiffany wanted an SUV to replace the Ascender...enter the Infiniti FX.

Of course, this does sort of make us those weird people with two cars from the same company. But beside being a walking...or driving advertisement for Infiniti, we are more than pleased.

The Perils of Being Rough & Tumble!

Last night the Duttons were out enjoying the evening breeze and extremely pleasant weather. We like to go outside into the yard whenever possible because Sam LOVES to be outside. LOVES IT! Unfortunately, the temperatures as of late have been too hot for him to play in the yard (thank you very much global climate change!) Yesterday was an exception as the temperature was about 70◦ F. It was the kind of day that is just too good to be true. But to the point of the matter. We were playing in the front yard with the oversized Superman ball when Sir Hugh fell and scratched his face. Ouch! Take a look at this. Not what you want to see.

Fortunately it looks worse than it is and Sam got up cried for a few moments and then promptly told his mother that he was fine. Probably because he knew that we would be going inside now for the evening. I told you that the kid loves the outside. So into the house to get the Neosporin and to clean him up. As with all little dudes who get the occasional boo boo, he had a miraculous recovery when it was snacktime! The Powerbar has magical healing powers....did you kow that?

A Weekend in IN.

So last weekend we traveled north to the lovely town of Marion, Indiana. We were reminded upon entering the state how flat it is for the most part. Apparently it is also "the" place for growing either corn or soy beans or both. Mile after mile of nothing but flat horizons and crops of corn/soy. Now Richmond is not the mountains by any means, but it does have its rolling dales. Where we live you can see the foothills of the Appalachians (pronounced apple "latch" uns, I hate it when they add the long "A" sound.) Long story short, KY = variety of terrain, IN = so flat you can stand in KY and see into Michigan. But enough of that.

The reason we traveled north was to visit Tiffy's grandma, Bonnie (Sam's great-grandma.) She and Junior (grandma's feller who lives in IN) were there for a few days and we took the opportunity to go see them.

Tiffy and I had been there before and really enjoyed sitting in the cool breeze in the evening for a good chat. We call it "porch sittin'" and it is a bit of a tradition for us.

We really had a good visit that even included some shopping. Sam really enjoyed the fact that everyone and their neighbor were still displaying their American flags. It seemed that everyone had one in front of their house...Junior included.

Sam is a bit obsessed with the flag right now and by "a bit" I mean totally. He took every opportunity to point out every flag he saw between Richmond and Marion. There were quite a few.

It was relaxing way to spend a weekend. The travel time wasn't that bad...it took us about 4.5 hours, the company was good, & Sam made out like a bandit. Grandma Bonnie had bought him so many toys it was like Giftmas in July. But I suppose that is what being a grandparent/great-grandparent is all about. Thanks Grandma Bonnie!

The Fourth, The Friends, The Food, The Fun, & The Fifth?!

Now I know what you are thinking? What did he do to need to plead the Fifth? That's not what I meant. I meant that this year's Independence with The Duttons spilled over into a great July 5th. Largely in part to the visitation of Kendra Dyer and her daughter Abby. You see, Kendra is a friend of the family from NoVa (she and I co-taught ESOL Science together for 3 years at Sandburg and have managed to keep in touch.) She and Abby were on their way to GA to visit family and I convinced them to take a detour through the Richmond area to enjoy the festivities at Rancho Duttonero. Let's just say that we didn't disappoint. This year we invited a record crowd to enjoy our special brand of excitement. We invited the Dillons, Johnsons, Arringtons, Bushes, Woolums, and of course the aforementioned Dyers. We estimated 25 - 30 visitors (actual turnout was closer to 20) and decided it would be better to let someone else do the cooking. We weighed our options and decided to go with Qdoba. We needed food for the masses. They cater...seemed a logical deduction. We ordered the Nacho Bar for 30 people. Now the funny thing is that when Tiffy went to pick up the food...they gave us extra...NICE. We not only got the chicken...but steak, queso, extra chips, and brownies....and the people rejoiced! We had so much food that I am sad to say some of it was donated to the trash. But enough of that sad talk...not only were the fireworks great, the volleyball extravaganza that was the prelude was outstanding. The only damper came when a passing shower ended the game prematurely (as if we were actually keeping score) and forced the competitors to go back for another helping of nachos...what a pity!

(For those of you who are wondering about the fireworks, please see the entry for last July 4th entitled "Fireworks Sans The Traffic. Oh yeah, this year all of the pictures are real!) No fakes!

So our celebration of the Fourth was a huge success and is quickly becoming a standing tradition. That is good because ask anyone...I like tradition. You just don't mess with it. But on to the rest of this entry. The fun didn't stop with the fireworks. When Kendra and Abby confirmed their visit to the Rancho, we decided to surprise them with a limo ride around the town complete with lunch and a trip to the Kentucky Horse Park...this venue will be host to the 2010 World Equestrian Games! This of course was all made possible thanks to our neighbor Gary and Elite Limo Service (see previous entry "Eight Is Not Enough.") Here we see Sir Hugh as he is escorted to the car by Miss Abby. (Let me just add that Sam was smitten with Abby and even shed tears for her on an occasion!)

Here we see the lovely Miss Abby as she is about to embark on her ride in style around the greater Lexington area.
Once inside we see the "celebrities" of the day enjoying the finer points of limo transportation.
Of course no expense was spared to ensure that Sir Hugh had custom seating complete with his favorite treats.
Onward we went to the Kentucky Horse Park where there was....well...horses. But not just horses, famous horses, statues of horses, horses for petting, horses for riding...you get the point.




After the park, we went to a lovely lunch at one of our favorite places, Max & Erma's where we enjoyed good food and conversation. We then wrapped up the outing with a trip to Grater's Ice Creamery...I had the Strawberry Sorbet (lactose free) & keeping with tradition...Sam had a nap.