Biopsy Blues.

"I want to do a biopsy to see if there are any cancer or pre-cancer cells, Mr. Dutton."

From that point on, the dermatologist could have given me the winning numbers for the lottery (not that I play it) which would be drawn later that day or could have told me my hair was on fire. It wouldn't have mattered because I instantly became fixated on that word. That word that no one wants to ever hear in relation to a part of their body (or anyone's body, I suppose.)

At this point, I suppose I should give you the back story...(no pun intended, you'll see why in a moment.) For about 3 or 4 months, I have had this dime-sized spot/lesion on my back/neck just below my "colar-line" that has been itching me. It started as what I thought was a routine in-grown hair but soon became extremely rough, almost callous. Tiffy gave me most of the updates about it since it was in one of those places where viewing it would have required me to attend yoga classes with Tiffy. The spot itched me to the point of being really annoying. Not to mention the fact that the colars of my shirts seem to frequently rub it the wrong way. In August, I decided that I had enough and scheduled an appointment with a dermatologist.

At first inspection, the dermatologist saw nothing alarming. She thought that it was an area of irritation and recommended a shot of cortisone to alleviate the itching. The good news was that it wasn't anything major (or so it seemed.) The bad news was the shot. Now since the back injury and subsequent surgery and add in the blood disorder, I have had my share of medically-induced puncture wounds. I mean I had like 9 IVs at once during the surgery!! You would think that a single shot would not hurt that bad. But let me tell you, the needle was either the size of a drinking straw or the dermatologist is the worst "shot-giver" in the world. My toenails hurt during this injection. Fortunately, it was over soon and I was ready to reap the benefits. You see the cortisone was intended to reduce the itching which in turn should allow the area to heal since I wouldn't be digging at it with any implement that I had nearby. It worked...for a while.

Then September came. The "benefits" came and went. The itchy spot remained. I was sitting in the lounge at school when someone told a story of a 30-something friend of a friend who had recently been diagnosed with the aggressive/deadly form of skin cancer, melanoma. Being me, I can take a hint, eventually. I called that day and got another appointment with the dermatologist. I went for the visit and thats when she decided to do the biopsy.

You see skin cancer has basically 3 forms. There is basal cell carcinoma which is the "typical" chop-it-off, no-harm-no-foul skin cancer. It doesn't spread and is 100% curable by...well, chopping it off. Next you have squamous cell carcinoma. It is the "older" brother of the basal cell in that it can spread to other parts of your body but is curable if caught in time. Then you have malignant melanoma. This is the bad boy of skin cancer. It spreads and it kills. Typically it arises from the basal or squamous cell forms if they go unchecked long enough. It has a high mortality rate and is certainly not what you are hoping for when you get the biopsy results.

Speaking of which, I went in for the biopsy on Tuesday. The dermatologist told me that it would be about a week before I would get the results (not easy waiting that long for that kind of information...let me tell you.) So the patience game began. But before it even got into full swing, their came a cryptic message from the dermatologist office.

"Have Shane call the office when he gets this message. He can call first thing in the morning if he doesn't get home until after the office is closed."

You can imagine my anxiety when I heard this on the answering machine at 5:30 , THURSDAY afternoon. What happened to the week? It's been 2 days! Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Can I call them now? NO! The office closes at 4:00!

Needless to say, I was the first call they received that Friday morning and it was an excrusiating experience all by itself. First, someone answered but immediately put me on hold....I HATE that. While on hold, they played the most eery piano music I have ever heard. Then the person asked how she could help me. Well, you could give me the results of the biopsy and never expose me to that music again. She did neither as she put me on hold while she paged the dermatologist. More creepy music. More anxiety. She returned to say that the doctor would take my call mometarily....more creepy music, more waiting, anxiety through the roof. Finally the voice of the dermatologist was a welcomed relief to the listening/waiting/worrying as she gave me the results of my biopsy.